2016.01.17 Ephesians 5: 21-33
Walk in Wisdom in Family Life
Good morning everyone…. It´s great to see all of you… I
am glad that you are here….. I have Good
News for you…. His name is Jesus… As
most of you know… Here at Calvary Chapel
Wiesbaden we teach through the Bible
verse by verse… Because we want to see
the Big picture…. We want to know and understand our great God and Savior…. The
Lord Jesus Christ…. We are studying Paul´s letter to the Ephesians this morning… This morning we
will pick up the 5th point from last week…
5
Walk in Wisdom ch 5 15-33
We all need wisdom for the many challenges that face us
in 2016… In this day and culture… Our families and our marriages are in great
danger… We desperately need wisdom…. Wisdom to survive and protect our families
in these difficult times… This Wisdom
must come from the Word of God… That
is what the Holy Spirit uses as He
teaches us and shapes our hearts…
We
need the Holy Spirit´s help to love and care for our each other and our
families… Once again this morning… Our text for today points us in
the right direction… We are going to look at God´s plan for marriage and Family… I will back up a few verses to remind us of the context… In Eph 5… v10… First
Paul says…
Ephesians
5: 10 NLT Neues Leben
10
Carefully determine what pleases the Lord.
10 Findet heraus, was dem Herrn Freude macht.
That´s very good advice… Since God in His grace and mercy
has forgiven us… Since because of His unfailing love… He has washed away our
sins… We should… We need to… Carefully determine what pleases the LORD…
then in ch v..15… we read…
Ephesians
5: 15 NLT Neues Leben
15
So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.
15 Achtet sorgfältig darauf, wie ihr lebt; handelt nicht
unklug, sondern bemüht euch, weise zu sein.
Paul says come on now… be smart… be wise… Then in verse
17 we read…
Ephesians
5: 17 NLT Neues Leben
17
Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.
17 Handelt nicht gedankenlos, sondern versucht zu
begreifen, was der Herr von euch will.
v17…
Understand what the will of the Lord is… This is what real wisdom is…
It is the opposite of being selfish and foolish…
Our knowledge of
the will of God comes from a solid
understanding of His Word…
It helps us to be careful how we live… It helps us to
love and care for each other…
then in verse 20 Paul says…
Ephesians
5: 20 NLT Neues Leben
20
And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus
Christ.
20 Und dankt Gott, dem Vater, zu jeder Zeit für alles im
Namen unseres Herrn Jesus Christus.
v20…
give thanks for everything to God the Father… The NKJV says… Giving
thanks always for all things to God…
We are commanded to be filled with thanksgiving….
We among all people…. Should be so filled with
thankfulness…. That we overflow with it… We can and should give thanks for everything… Yes… Even the hard times…
Even difficult marriages and family life… God uses the
hard times… The difficult challenges to shape us and transform us… verse 21…
Ephesians
5: 21 NLT Neues Leben
21
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
21 Ordnet euch aus Achtung vor dem Herrn bereitwillig
einander unter.
v21…
submit to one another out of reverence for Christ…. The NKJV says…. Submitting
to one another in the fear of God… The motive for all submission is love and respect for
the Lord Jesus Christ... It has to do with our relationship with the
Lord Jesus…. We need to have an attitude of mutual submission in the church and
in our families… In this next section Paul gives us practical
advice for our families… We could call
this…
God’s
plan for marriage and the family
And by the way gentlemen… Paul focuses on us… and men… As leaders in the home… we are responsible…. Paul is going to
help us understand our responsibitities… Especially as husbands and fathers… Paul spends a lot
of time exhorting us… Most of this next section is aimed at counseling us… Paul
does not hold back anything when he gives us godly advice… So Hold on to your
seats…
look with me at the
next section in Eph ch5… starting with v21…
Ephesians
5: 21-24 NLT Neues Leben
21
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 For wives,
this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head
of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body,
the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to
your husbands in everything.
21 Ordnet euch aus Achtung vor dem Herrn bereitwillig
einander unter. 22 Ihr Ehefrauen sollt euch euren Männern unterordnen, so wie ihr
euch dem Herrn unterordnet. 23 Denn der Mann ist das Haupt seiner Frau, wie
Christus das Haupt seines Leibes - der Gemeinde - ist, für die er sein Leben
gab, um sie zu retten.24 So wie die Gemeinde sich Christus unterordnet, sollt
ihr Ehefrauen euch auch euren Männern in allem unterordnen.
v22…
For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord…
We have just read about mutual submission…. As genuine
believers we submit to each other as unto the Lord… Most of the time we can
express our love and trust with mutual submission…. We can function as a team
with the same goals… Using the analogy of a team from last week… We do still
have coaches… leaders…. And we follow our leaders… We have pastors and elders
in the church…. They carry a great responsibility to love and disciple and protect
the church…
Our
leader… The Lord Jesus Christ… Is our perfect example… He is the one we look to…
Paul continues now with very practical advice for our families…
When we look at the family… We have structure in place as
well… Ideally the husband takes on the role of loving and protecting the
family… He lovingly leads and serves them… When a man is Spirit-filled… when he is so filled with joy and gratitude to God for all that Christ has done… And when he loves his wife as himself… he will serve
her and sacrifice himself for her… and will
not lord over her… his authority will be gentle… And sacrificial… and he will help
her to feel safe and secure… and she will be willing to follow him…
When
we submit to God… we recognize God's authority… Which he uses for our good…
Submission
is a very difficult subject in today´s culture… We live
in a time of self-fulfillment… I am the
boss of me…
But Submission
does not mean inferiority… As well, submission does not mean silence…
Submission means "sub-mission." There
is a mission for the Christian marriage… and that mission is obeying and
glorifying God in everything
that we are... look at the last part
of v22…
v22b…
To your own husbands as to the Lord… This is a very important
context for submission… This defines the limits of a wife's submission... The
Bible never commands a general submission of women unto men in society... This
order is commanded only in the areas
of the home and the church… God has not commanded in His word that men have
exclusive authority in other areas… The
example in in the church and in the home is the LORD Jesus Himself… How we
need Him in our homes and in the church… Now Men we have the ball… But with it
comes great responsibility… let´s look at the next section… v28…
Ephesians
5: 25-28 NLT Neues Leben
25
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He
gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing
of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church
without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and
without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they
love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for
himself.
25 Und ihr Ehemänner, liebt eure Frauen mit derselben
Liebe, mit der auch Christus die Gemeinde geliebt hat. Er gab sein Leben für
sie,
26 damit sie befreit von Schuld ganz ihm gehört, rein
gewaschen durch Gottes Wort.
27 Er tat dies, um sie als herrliche Gemeinde vor sich
hinzustellen, ohne Flecken und Runzeln oder dergleichen, sondern heilig und
makellos.
28 Genauso sollten auch die Ehemänner ihre Frauen lieben,
wie sie ihren eigenen Körper lieben. Denn ein Mann liebt auch sich selbst, wenn
er seine Frau liebt.
A clear principle is given to us in verse 25… the husband’s responsibility is to love his wife… It doesn’t say rule over her…. He already has
that tendency… even a tendency to dominate her… to control her… to command her… The curse does that… He is told here… He is to love and protect her… She is submitting to him as unto the LORD…. His leadership is the leadership
self-sacrificial love and care… It is his responsibility to give direction…
and to provide for her… and to display godly leadership… But it is always in the context of love… Paul
exhorts the church in Colossae about these very same things…. Look with me at
Col 3: 16…
Colossians
3: 16-19 NLT Neues Leben
16
Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and
counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and
spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. 17 And whatever you do or say, do
it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the
Father. 18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong
to the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.
16 Gebt den Worten von Christus viel Raum in euren
Herzen. Gebraucht seine Worte weise, um einander zu lehren und zu ermahnen.
Singt Gott aus ganzem Herzen Psalmen, Lobgesänge und geistliche Lieder. 17 Doch
alles, was auch immer ihr tut oder sagt, soll im Namen von Jesus, dem Herrn,
geschehen, durch den ihr Gott, dem Vater, danken sollt! 18 Ihr
Frauen, ordnet euch euren Männern unter, wie es für Menschen angemessen ist,
die dem Herrn gehören! 19 Ihr Männer, liebt eure Frauen und
behandelt sie nicht grob!
This text is wonderful and clear…. It talks about our
ministry to each other in the church… We teach and counsel each other… We
follow the biblical pattern for the church… and for our families… Then here
Paul exhorts the men…
Do
not be harsh with your wives… There is always the danger of the loss of love
in a marriage… There is a great risk
that the husband forgets the loving example
of the Lord Jesus... His simply loved us
and laid down His life for us… No preconditions…. Well if she respects me
enough…. Then I will love her… No… It is not that we loved Him….. It is that He
first loved us…. Jesus loved us and redeemed us when we were dirty rotten
sinners…. There was nothing good about us… It is just like we read in Ephesians 2…. We were dead in sins…. V4… but God who is so rich in
mercy…
When Paul says to husbands… “Love your wives and
sacrifice your lives for them as Christ gave Himself up for His church… this is
radical… It is a self-sacrificing love… It is humble and unselfish… look again at Eph
5v 25…
Ephesians
5:25 NLT Neues Leben
25
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave
up his life for her
25 Und ihr Ehemänner, liebt eure Frauen mit derselben
Liebe, mit der auch Christus die Gemeinde geliebt hat. Er gab sein Leben für sie,
v25a… 25
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He
gave up his life for her… Husbands… We are to love our wives… That is a
command... You cannot say… I don’t love her anymore… You cannot say…You don’t understand…. You
don´t know how she’s treated me… How she
treats you is not the issue… We are
commanded to love them… The Lord Jesus loved sinners when they hated
Him… Didn´t He? And Jesus is our example and our standard…
v25b…just
as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her… The godly
husband loves his wife… not for what she can do for him… but what he can do for
her... That’s how Christ’s love works… He loves us not because there’s something in
us that attracts Him… He loves us because He decided to love us in spite of our
sins and ugliness… He loves us with a
love that never fails… It is based on His promise and faithfulness…. Not in any
sense on us… We did not deserve His love… We still do not deserve his love…. He
promised to love and save us…. We don’t
deserve His love... There’s nothing
attractive in us... Jesus simply loves
us… It is a love that never dies…. It cannot be killed… It is a love that is utterly and completely
self-sacrificing…
If there’s one simple way to explain what this love means
for us as husbands… it would be to say it means death to self… Swallow your pride… swallow your personal
desires… swallow your personal ambitions… swallow your fantasies and dreams
about how life might have been with someone else… put all of that aside… it is all meaningless… It only boils down to temptation… And love your wives with a love that knows
nothing of self… Focus on her needs… nurture her heart… And lay down your life for
her… Impossible you say… Stimmt das… It is impossible without the Lord´s help…
This is the kind of love that only the Spirit of God can give
us… He gives us the capacity to love
like this… This is the very love which Christ Himself
demonstrated toward us…. And now because of His work in us and through us… we live in that love…. And we are able to love
others through Him… It is the Holy Spirit
produces this incredible love in
us… This is the kind of love that belongs only
to people who have been born again… People who have had their lives
transformed…
In 1 Corinthians 13… every characteristic of love listed
in that chapter is a verb… Love acts…
Let´s look at 1 Cor 13… v4…
1
Corinthians 13: 4- 7 NLT
Neues Leben
4
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude.
It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of
being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the
truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful,
and endures through every circumstance.
4 Die Liebe ist geduldig und freundlich. Sie ist nicht
neidisch oder überheblich, stolz
5 oder anstößig. Die Liebe ist nicht selbstsüchtig. Sie
lässt sich nicht reizen, und wenn man ihr Böses tut, trägt sie es nicht nach. 6
Sie freut sich niemals über Ungerechtigkeit, sondern sie freut sich immer an
der Wahrheit. 7 Die Liebe erträgt alles, verliert nie den Glauben, bewahrt
stets die Hoffnung und bleibt bestehen, was auch geschieht
v4…
Love is patient and kind…
That’s the character of God´s love… and that’s how we are
to love our wives…
It is always a verb… it is always acting on someone… We have been given the capacity to love like
this by the Holy Spirit… Because we have
been transformed and born again… the Spirit of God has come into us… we have
received the fruit of the Spirit which is love… and we can actively share that
love… Christian… you cannot say… “Well, I’m sorry I really tried to love
her… but I don’t have the ability… I
can´t love her anymore… Yes, you can… God´s supernatural love is there for you to
tap into…
And it is a love that is not dependent on the object… In
other words… Because of Jesus work in me… I can decide to love my wife no
matter what...
In verse 7… Paul says… Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures
through every circumstance… To summarize this list… love forgives
everything done against it… The loving
person doesn’t keep a record of wrongs…
Would you like to know what destroys marriages…? It is unforgiveness… If you continually forgive one another all
the time… there’s no record of wrong kept… If we refuse to forgive we start to build
a wall of bitterness… It is poison to any relationship…. IT can be death to a
marriage… Nothing is more important in our marriage than forgiveness… Immediate
and spontaneous forgiveness will protect
your marriage…
I suppose, men, we might even ask the question: when was
the last time you made a sacrifice for your wife? I’m not talking about something trivial,
something significant. Have you
crucified self, set something aside to focus
on her? I know many men are anxious
to be leaders and spiritual giants, and they want to appear as they’re in
control of everything and they are the pious leader of the family. True godly leadership is death to self…
Death
to self is the issue... It saves us from being defensive and hostile…
Even when our wives are accumulating that list of things against us… You know… You never…. You always…. You should
have… We want to defend ourselves… We
are tempted to build a list of our own…. Big Mistake…. The scriptures say that
a soft answer turns away wrath…Proverbs 15… v1…
When
your good is evil spoken of… when she misunderstands you… when your desires are
not important to her… when your advice is disregarded… and your opinions are
ridiculed… and when you are abused… when you are mistreated… or misunderstood…
and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart or even defend yourself… that is
dying to self… John
MacArthur
Do you want to know what makes you the leader God wants
you to be in your home…? It´s not when you show her who´s boss… It’s when you die to yourself… The
manner with which we are to love our wives is the manner with which Christ
loved the church... It is a sacrificial
love that demands death to self... To
constantly deny ourselves is a great spiritual challenge... But that’s what God calls for… And when we lead in an environment of sacrificial
love and self-denial… We create the godly and loving home that a woman longs
for… let´s take the next section beginning at verse 26…
Ephesians
5: 25b -29
NLT Neues Leben
He
gave His life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of
God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church
without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and
without fault. 28
In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own
bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one
hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the
church.
Er gab sein Leben für sie, 26 damit sie befreit von
Schuld ganz ihm gehört, rein gewaschen durch
Gottes Wort. 27 Er tat dies, um sie als herrliche Gemeinde vor sich
hinzustellen, ohne Flecken und Runzeln oder dergleichen, sondern heilig und
makellos. 28 Genauso sollten auch die Ehemänner ihre Frauen lieben,
wie sie ihren eigenen Körper lieben. Denn ein Mann liebt auch sich selbst, wenn
er seine Frau liebt. 29 Niemand hasst doch seinen eigenen Körper, sondern sorgt
liebevoll für ihn, wie auch Christus für seinen Leib, also für die Gemeinde,
sorgt.
Ephesians
5: 30-33 NLT Neues Leben
30
And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his
father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the
church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves
himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
30 Und wir gehören zu seinem Leib. 31 In der Schrift
heißt es: »Deshalb wird ein Mann Vater und Mutter verlassen und sich an seine
Frau binden und die beiden werden zu einer Einheit.«
32 Das ist ein großes Geheimnis, aber ich deute es als
ein Bild für die Einheit von Christus und der Gemeinde.
33 Deshalb sage ich noch einmal, dass jeder Ehemann seine
Frau so lieben soll, wie er sich selbst liebt, und dass die Ehefrau ihren Mann
achten und respektieren soll.
This is a beautiful picture… Paul drives home this
comparison of man and wife in Marriage… He reminds us of Christ and the church…
Jesus loves His church with a sacrificial and sanctifying love… He forgave us everything… forgotten…. I love
you…. I refuse to remember the things that you have done to me…. It´s all under
the cross… The Lord Jesus loves His
church enough to cleanse her from every sin and failure… He loves His church enough to present her
without spot or wrinkle or any such thing but holy and blameless… In His eyes
we are all perfect…. Men…. In your eyes your… our wives and families should be
perfect…. Because we refuse to hold things against them…
In verse 26 we see that He does this process of
making the church Holy with the Word of God… As men we need to disciple our
wives and children… We need to help them grow in grace and in the knowledge of
the Lord Jesus Christ…
Jesus is at work purifying His church… and a husband needs
to help his wife towards holiness…
How ?
By discipling and living out the Word of God for her… By teaching and sharing the faithful study of the
scriptures with your family… Being here and making church life the most important part of learning to do life together…
Close
look
at verse 33…
v33… So again I say, each man must love his wife as
he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Here Paul sums it all up…. Here is the formula for an excellent marriage… Love
and respect…. These are commands… Impossible? Yes in our own strength…
Impossible… But… Because of Jesus´ work
in our hearts and lives…. We love and serve her with the love that Jesus has
made alive in us…. She loves and respects us because of Jesus´ work in her
heart and life… This is the secret to a wonderful and Godly marriage… Love and Respect…
Easier said than done… I fail my wife… Perhaps every day… We have wonderful
resources at our disposal… First… Right here… The Word of God…
But we also have the examples of Godly men and women who
shared their life experiences and understanding with us… A web page of
resources for marriage…
Counseling
God´s way and Love and Respect ministries…
Biblical
Manhood and Womanhood…
Let´s
review the first 2 verse of Eph5… beginning at v1..
Ephesians
5: 1,2 NLT
Neues Leben
1 Imitate
God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. 2 Live
a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and
offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.
1 Folgt in allem Gottes Beispiel, denn ihr seid seine
geliebten Kinder. 2 Euer Leben soll von Liebe geprägt sein, wie auch Christus
uns geliebt hat, denn er hat sich selbst als Gabe und Opfer für unsere Sünden
gegeben. Und Gott hatte Gefallen an diesem Opfer, das wie ein wohlriechender
Duft zu ihm aufstieg.
Now a final word from James to end this morning…
James
1: 2-4 NLT Neues Leben
2
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it
an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested,
your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance
is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
2 Liebe Brüder, wenn in schwierigen Situationen euer
Glaube geprüft wird, dann freut euch darüber.3 Denn wenn ihr euch darin
bewährt, wächst eure Geduld.4 Und durch die Geduld werdet ihr bis zum Ende durchhalten,
denn dann wird euer Glaube zur vollen Reife gelangen und vollkommen sein und
nichts wird euch fehlen.
Let’s pray.
